The thing that most surprised me about fatherhood the first time around was how long it took before I felt about my child what I was expected to feel. Clutching Quinn after she exited the womb, I was able to generate tenderness and a bit of theoretical affection, but after that, for a good six weeks, the best I could manage was detached amusement. The worst was hatred. I distinctly remember standing on a balcony with Quinn squawking in my arms and wondering what I would do if it wasn't against the law to hurl her off of it. I also recall convincing myself that official statistics dramatically overstated the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome—when an infant dies for no apparent reason in her crib—because most of them were probably murder. The reason we all must be so appalled by parents who murder their infants is that it is so easy and even natural to do. Maternal love may be instinctive, but paternal love is learned behavior.
This book along with this radio show on the impressive outcomes of orphanages (related thoughts here) make me seriously doubt the nuclear family as optimal child-rearing unit.
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Here is Michael Lewis talking about the book with Charlie Rose.
Similar sentiments come from a recent (and damn good) TED Talk called "Let's talk parenting taboos".
Malcolm Gladwell called Michael Lewis one of our time's greatest storytellers, and I think he is right. I rated the book as 9 on enjoyment, 5 on value/insight, and 9 on well-written. It took me about 5 hours to read. (My ratings for all books are here.)
