My new favorite football (soccer) coach is Diego Maradona of Argentina. (See this Yahoo article, these photos, and his 'goal of the century' from 1986.) His fierce intensity and unpredictability make me grin in much the same way as my favorite baseball player, Carlos Zambrano.
I can understand why many people dislike these intense and tenacious figures, especially when you are a fan of the opposing team, but would anyone argue that having such a figure present does not make the game considerably more exciting? My question is this: Since the currency of sports is excitement, why then do owners and coaches and referees not encourage intensity among the participants instead of constantly trying to suppress it?
Even assuming that athletes generally perform better when they are even-tempered, and even assuming that super-intense athletes create disharmony among the team, I still question why there is not more encouragement of intensity because, while they'll never admit it, the goal of a sports franchise is not to maximize wins but to maximize profit, which is done by maximizing excitement. It's why David Beckham in the twilight of his career could demand such a sizable salary from the LA Galaxy -- not because he increased their win probability as much as increased their excitement quotient.
If I ever owned an American Football team, my first move would be to recruit Yokozuna Sumo Wrestlers for the offensive line. That should be fairly easy since they earn only $30,000 in Japan, and fairly profitable since who wouldn't want to watch a sumo wrestler play football? Because speed is exciting, I'd recruit Usain Bolt to be a wide out. To complement his speed, one of my tailbacks would be the shortest and fastest guy I could find (like Darren Sproles), and the other tailback (fullback, really) would be the largest and most intimidating Sumo Wrestler I could find. Contrary to popular belief, it is extremely exciting to watch a 400 pound man run the ball.
My quarterback, of course, would be Michael Vick. His speed and unpredictability (not to mention his discounted price tag) would fit beautifully into the offensive system. On the defensive side, I would have a potent mixture of long-haired players from American Somoa and semi-sane ex-convicts whose neck muscles are in a constant state of strain. To top it all off, warm-up routines would consist of the Maori-Haka dance.
Is there any doubt that this would be the team with both the lowest payroll in the NFL and the highest TV ratings, by far? If not, please explain, efficient market theorists, why don't football franchises structure their teams this way?
Oh, and my coaches? These guys, of course.
