Nov 29, 2010

The importance of family and such

When people say something is important to them, what do they mean? Important in what sense? Important by what criteria?

I can think of a few questions to gauge what is important to someone:

If you could only achieve one thing in your life, what would it be?
If you could only spend your life doing one thing, what would it be?
If you could only know one person in your life, who would it be?
How do you want to be remembered?
How do you want to be perceived right now?
Whose respect do you most hope to earn?
Whose admiration do you most hope to earn?
Whose love do you most hope to earn?
What ideas/principles are you willing to die for?
Who are you willing to die for?
What is the most meaningful thing you can do with your life?
What is the best way you can spend your time?
What is the best way you spent your time today?
If you knew you had only weeks to live, how would you spend your time?
If you knew you had only hours to live, how would you spend your time?
If you knew you had only minutes to live, how would you spend your time?
Added 11/30: Of all the things in your life, which would you be the most sorry to lose irrevocably?
Added 11/30: What would you most like to gain in your life?

If you’re like me, you have very different answers to these questions. And if you’re like me, because you have such different answers, you have a hard time understanding how anyone could have a rank-ordered list of overall importance.

Rank-ordered lists for books, movies, and such are one thing – I understand that people have the ability to perform some sort of neuro-emotional calculus based on experiences to assemble roughshod “best of” lists – but having a rank-ordered list of what’s “important” seems like a much more mysterious (and questionable) feat.

Which is why I am so intrigued by people’s confidence in their priorities.

BO was interviewed the other night by the hard-hitting Barbara Walters and she asked something like could he ever see a reason why he would not run for a second term. His response was that nothing is more important to him than being the President of the United States … except for his family and his faith.

...Family and Faith. A familiar refrain. The importance of faith across individuals is spotty, but I have yet to hear someone say that their family is not important to them. Not only does family seem to be almost universally important, it seems to be proclaimed as most important with striking regularity. (On a side note, I wonder what proportion of the faithful would say their faith is more important than their family.)

Could it possibly be true that even the President of the United States – someone spending upwards of 80 hours per week toward goals like “healthcare”, “economy”, and “national defense” – places more importance on his own teeny little family than the job with more influence than any other? That almost seems selfish... but at the same time P.C.

Even if it is just political correctness, lots of people without political motivations will say the same thing. I can’t help but wonder how sincere these people are. If your family is #1, how can you justify spending 80 (or even 40) hours a week toward pursuing some goal unrelated to your family? Isn’t what you care most about reflected in how you spend your time, or at least in what goals you choose to pursue?

Family-lovers might respond by saying that although they spend their time in pursuit of career-related goals, their family shares in their career-related success, and their motivation for wanting to be successful is their family.

It seems odd to me that people will go out of their way to signal humility, but they are so unwilling to admit what we might call “unvirtuous” aims or motivations, which is just about anything that’s not family or faith—not just power and greed but just plain personal motivations like fulfillment, pride, or excitement.

The only way I know to test such claims of virtuosity is by returning to the original questions above. It’s possible that someone’s answer to each of these questions could be some variation on “family”. I could easily see a new parent answering “family” (namely, “child”) to just about all the questions, and I could just as easily see a newly-infatuated person answer “love of my life” to just about all the questions. But when not under the drug-like spell of these life events, I imagine most people will be like me and have very different answers.

Which leads me to the (perhaps obvious) conclusion that certain life events can deliver a truly focused sense of “importance” but that most of the time for most people we default to a scattered set of hopes, ambitions, and values.

Nov 24, 2010

Fear of death in the workplace

By one theory it shows up in our resistance to change:

The basic idea is that people go to great lengths to repress awareness of mortality. Studies show that we create three existential buffers to protect us from this knowledge: Consistency allows us to see the world as orderly, predictable, familiar, and safe. Standards of justice allow us to establish and enforce a code of what's good and fair. Culture imbues us with the sense that we have contributed to, and are participating in, a larger and enduring system of beliefs.

Anything that threatens these buffers exposes us to the looming reality of death. Change an employee's routine, and you've undermined the consistency barrier. Tell a salesperson he'll no longer be evaluated on the basis of revenue and now must hit certain cross-selling and teamwork targets, and you've attacked his standard of justice. Alter the company's mission, and you've pierced the culture buffer by requiring him to reconstruct his worldview.

Free advice: It probably would not be wise to tell your employees that the reason they are really upset about your new policies is because of a newly-revealed unconscious awareness of the fact that they will one day die.

Nov 18, 2010

Warren Buffett on choosing your friends wisely

Mark Larson pointed to this quote from Warren Buffett:

Hang around people who are better than you all the time. You do pick up the behavior of people who are around you. It will make you a better person. Marry upward. That is the person who is going to have the biggest effect on you. A relationship like that over the decades will do nothing but good.

A related sentiment is "It's easier to change your friends than it is to change yourself."

Mark added, "And if you can’t find/identify people who are better than you, you’re probably an asshole."

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P.S. - Congrats to Buffett for earning the highest U.S. civilian honor (with coincidentally the lamest-sounding name), "The Medal of Freedom".

Receptiveness to feedback survey

This one should take you less than 60 seconds. Thanks for participating!

Nov 16, 2010

The Corduroy Appreciation Society

I am glad to know there is a club of 3,500 people supporting my decision to wear corduroy pants almost every day. And I am glad that Bill Geist, who I think is the most likeable human on the planet, was the one to introduce me to said club. (Please don't ever retire, Mr. Geist.)

And holy fabric, is that the Jesse Thorn with the impassioned speech at the end?!

4:37 video from CBS Sunday Morning

Nov 15, 2010

Squibs

The Internet Jerkward Theory posits that the combination of (1) a perfectly normal human being, (2) total anonymity, and (3) an audience will result in a total cesspit.

Words are like mental bridges that give you access to a concept that would otherwise be near-impossible to grasp or even talk about (e.g. “thoughts” or “time”).

Communication is a kind of vicarious observation.

We rarely choose action over inaction, pain over annoyance, or commitment over freedom, but often we should.

Memories draw heavily on theories. We remember our feelings based on how we expected to feel rather than how we actually felt. Feelings are not stored.

The most accurate way to predict how you will feel is to see how someone feels who is currently experiencing it.

“If you’re like most people, then like most people, you don’t know you’re like most people.”

We do not always see ourselves as superior, but we almost always see ourselves as unique.

We even overestimate everyone else’s uniqueness – that is, we think people are more different from one another than they really are.

The best employee award I've heard: Amazon has an award for people who did something great and did not ask permission first.

People are happiest when healthy, well-fed, comfortable, safe, prosperous, knowledgeable, respected, non-celibate, and loved. –Steven Pinker

"We are born of risen apes, not fallen angels."

Nov 10, 2010

The meaning of business cards

In honor of Alain de Botton and this amazing passage from The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work, I have decided to change my business card.

The employees proceed upstairs without looking around them. To feel at home in the office is not to notice the strange silver sculpture in the lobby and to forget how alien the place felt on the first day. The start of work means the end to freedom, but also to doubt, intensity and wayward desires. The accountant's ten thousand possibilities have been reduced to an agreeable handful.

She has a business card which she hands over in meetings and which tells other people -- and, more meaningfully perhaps, reminds her -- that she is a Business Unit Senior Manager, rather than a vaporous transient consciousness in an incidental universe. How satisfying it is to be held in check by the assumptions of colleagues, instead of being forced to contemplate, in the loneliness of the early hours, all that one might have been and now never will be. She has a meeting scheduled with a team from an insurance brokerage in half an hour, leaving her time to buy a muffin and coffee from the cafeteria. The start of the day in the office has burnt off nostalgia as the sun evaporates a coat of dew. Life is no longer mysterious, sad, haunting, touching, confusing, or melancholy; it is a practical stage for clear-eyed action.

My new business card will read Vaporous Transient Consciousness in an Incidental Universe.

Nov 9, 2010

Who is the best quarterback ever?

Of course there is no universally agreed upon way to measure who is best, but the NFL has a widely accepted statistic called “passer rating” that ought to serve as a pretty good proxy. It is a measure of the efficiency of a quarterback after accounting for the rate of touchdowns, yards, and interceptions per attempt.

Who do you think has the highest passer rating over their career? Here are some options:

Steve Young
Peyton Manning
Tom Brady
Joe Montana
Drew Brees
Dan Marino
Brett Favre
Jim Kelly
Roger Staubach
Troy Aikman
Bart Starr
Dan Fouts
John Elway
Johnny Unitas

If you said none of the above, you would be correct. Here are the ranks of the above quarterbacks on the all-time list:

2. Steve Young
5. Peyton Manning
7. Tom Brady
8. Joe Montana
10. Drew Brees
17. Dan Marino
18. Brett Favre
25. Jim Kelly
29. Roger Staubach
42. Troy Aikman
50. Bart Starr
57. Dan Fouts
58. John Elway
68. Johnny Unitas

Who’s number 1, you ask? He reigns from Decatur, Alabama, he was recruited out of high school as a tight end, he played his college ball in Raleigh, North Carolina (where I watched him closely for four years), (his dad was the coach at my high school), and he currently resides in San Diego, California, where he is on pace to shatter the single season passing record without a starting receiver on the active roster. His name is Philip Rivers.

Here is the complete list.

Given our culture’s infatuation with greatness, it is amazing that he has managed to maintain his presence in the “pretty good” press bucket for this long. I am starting to see a few articles whisper the word “special”, but it still pales in comparison to the lovefest I observe for other quarterbacks.

It is also amazing that this is the first post on this blog about him. I pay more attention to Philip Rivers than probably any other human I don’t personally know. I am not proud of it, but it’s true. It is my guilty pleasure on Sundays (and most other days of the week, for that matter).

It is unlikely that he will ever be put in the “best ever” category, but at least for right now, in the prime of his career, that is what the statistics are saying. No doubt part of his statistical greatness can be attributed to the emergence of the passing game as an offensive force. This is evidenced by the fact that 7 of the top 10 quarterbacks on the list are still active, and 3 of the top 5 (Rivers, Romo, and Rodgers) are under 30. But I have little doubt that Philip Rivers will be remembered as “among the best” and that he will eventually be immortalized in Canton. (The Pro Football Hall of Fame, for you non-football people.)

And maybe someday I will finally publish a big long post about my own lovefest for #17.

Nov 7, 2010

Squibs

Nature = The world seen as a spectacle separate from ourselves.

Much can be learned by looking at what annoys someone the most. Or by whom they envy the most.

There are no language centers of the brain -- language is handled by many different regions working in parallel. A single word causes a unique pattern of activity to ripple through the cortex.

To some extent, you can measure the intelligence of an animal as the ratio of neurons to body size. But if intelligence is defined as the capacity to gauge the world and make correct decisions, then the ratio makes no difference at all.

Plants have intentions, make decisions, and compute complex aspects of the environment. They have senses that can detect and respond to light, water, temperatures, chemicals, vibrations, gravity, and sounds.

One effective way to get something unpleasant done is to line up something even more unpleasant as an alternative.

A simple 3-step process to dramatically improve the quality and efficiency of your writing: (1) Write stream of consciousness-style, (2) let sit (ideally at least a week), and (3) then come back and ruthlessly cull the mess you put together.

Greed is merely a species of nearsightedness.

It's easy to reach a lot of people who don't care what you have to say. That's called advertising. It's special to have people voluntarily go out of their way to listen to what you have to say (as you do to read this blog -- Thank You).

Nov 3, 2010

Brett Bolkowy

Brett is a reader of this blog who I have been fortunate to get to know a little bit after he volunteered to join my informal advisory board.

Brett is embarking on an alternative path of education that I will be following with interest. He decided not to return to his university this fall to continue pursuing an engineering degree and instead will be doing what he calls "Real Life U" -- an idea originally inspired by this post on Ben Casnocha's blog.

The bet he is making is that self-paced learning guided by mentors will be more effective than a traditional 4-year college education. His plans include a board of trustees, intensive tracking (including books, websites, projects, and people met), and an online repository for lessons learned and book summaries, etc. I am crossing my fingers that the outputs will be available in blog form.

Speaking of blogs, one of the blogs in my “always good” folder in Google Reader is his personal blog. It is a lot like mine except with better photography.

I love his photos. I get a similar feeling viewing his photos as I do from reading an Alain de Botton book. Both have a way of representing the ordinary in such a way so as to remind us of all that’s there. There is nothing that saddens me more than sitting on a plane next to someone who takes more interest in his crossword puzzle than the view out the window. Brett’s photos are a welcome reminder that even a view “obstructed” by clouds can be damn spectacular. Only a subset of his photos are taken from the air, but I get a similar feeling viewing his photos taken from the ground.

Some samples:



If you want a lovely piece of photography on your wall, and you want to support his alternative education path, check out his photo store. Folks can also order photos from his Flickr (photosets) by contacting him at brett@brettbolkowy.com.

The NBA

You picked a good time to be alive if you are a basketball fan. This is probably the most interesting season in NBA history. Here are some of the things I am following:

The Miami Heat

This team is scarier than I imagined. Despite below average offensive performances from LeBron so far, they are killing teams with defense.

Given their current scoring margin (and granted the N is only 5), you can predict that their winning percentage will be 92.6% -- meaning they are expected to win 75.3 games, destroying the 95-96 Chicago Bulls' record of 72 wins. I whipped out the good ole' binomial distribution to estimate that they have a 94% probability of at least matching the Bulls' record (although in truth it is probably considerably lower than that given the relative softness of their early schedule and the likelihood of injuries, etc.)

As of last week, Vegas was giving the Heat a ~37% chance of winning the NBA Championship. I suspect that will rise.



The LA Lakers and the Boston Celtics

It's possible (though unlikely) that two teams could at least match the 95-96 Bulls' 72 wins this season. The Lakers are clearly the second best team in the NBA and are probably better than last year. With their current scoring margin, they are expected to win 69.7 games and have about a 12% chance of winning at least 72 games.

The Boston Celtics would be considered a championship favorite almost any other year. These three teams are historically good. (Then you have Orlando, Oklahoma City, and Chicago behind them that are also potentially very good.)

Rajon Rondo

A point guard known for his defense and his awkwardly long arms is on pace to shatter the NBA assists record. Tonight he had 17 assists and 0 turnovers.

Kevin Durant

Never has scoring looked so effortless. The guy is undefendable. And with Westbrook running the point, Oklahoma City is a joy to watch.

The Rooks

Blake Griffin will eat you for breakfast. He and Dwight Howard are two of the most athletic bigs the NBA has known.

Here was (Raleigh's own) John Wall's line from tonight: 29 points, 13 assists, 8 turnovers, 9 steals. And he can dance.

Golden State

Okay, so no history in the making here, but they are damn fun to watch. You would not call them a formidable defensive unit, but with Steph Curry, Monta Ellis, and David Lee, this is an exciting team.

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On a side note, I have been trying to figure out how to be productive at night given all the NBA excitement. I've found that while it's near impossible to effectively read or write while watching a game, I can safely watch a couple of games and listen to a podcast or watch a TED talk (or some such) at the same time.

Nov 2, 2010

Blogs I'm reading

I currently have 956 feeds in Google Reader. I won't attempt to list them all (you're welcome), but below are the ones I consider best. These are most of the feeds in my "always good" folder in Google Reader, meaning the the feeds that I read (or at least look at) every post.

Newbies (since February; roughly in order of number of posts starred/"liked"):

Daniel Pink - site - feed
Mark Hurst - site - feed
Andy McKenzie - site - feed
Rebecca Rapple - site - feed
To the Best of Our Knowledge - site - feed
Spark podcast - site - feed
Radiolab - site - feed
Brett Bolkowy - site - feed
Pictures from a Taxi - site - feed
Nicholas Felton - site - feed
Trans World Expedition - site - feed
101 Diversions (Xan) - site - feed

Oldies (roughly in order of number of posts starred/"liked"):

Jason Kottke - site - feed
Scott Adams - site - feed
Ben Casnocha - site - feed
Colin Marshall's blog (site - feed) and podcast (site - feed)
Mark Larson's Tumblr (site - feed) and blog (site - feed)
TED Talks - site - feed
Seth Roberts - site - feed
Newmark's Door - site - feed
Dominic Wilcox - site - feed
Paul Graham Essays - site - feed
Ben Fry - site - feed
Harrison Brookie - site - feed
Charlie Rose - site - feed
The Quantified Self - site - feed
Amy Stein - site - feed
Hugh Hollowell - site - feed

Barely breathing (rarely post):

Bluematter. - site - feed
Nano GigaPan - site - feed
Robert and Jen Johnson - site - feed
Illini? Or Huskie? ...Illini! - site - feed
Blake Riley - site - feed
Clay Shirky - site - feed

Departed (no longer posting; please come back soon!):

No Promise of Safety - site - feed
The Alternate Blog - site - feed
Tim's Data Blog - site - feed
Motley Fool Conversations - site - feed

My antenna are always up for other good ones so please leave any recommendations in the comments.