Jonathan Vaudreuil notices what he thinks is a contradiction from a previous post:
I love how you were just talking about the lack of differences you believed there are between men and women, and now it's all about Wehr's my booty call? Nice.
“Wehr’s my booty call?” Ha. I’m gonna have to try that as an Internet pick-up line.
But in response to your observation of my incongruity, I have this to say: There are at least two ways in which men and women are significantly different from one another, typically. Those differences are (1) who they are attracted to and why, and (2) “goodies”. I hope neither needs explaining. Any other differences are less clear to me. I have lots of theories, and maybe I’ll share them someday, but there’s not any one major psychological difference that I would feel comfortable declaring an absolute fact, except the ability to throw overhand. But I’m open to other possibilities – just bring your evidence.
Ian Dickinson seems to have given this lady magnetism topic some good thought, and while he’s convinced that there is some magical invisible signal that the Lars’s of the world are emanating, he’s not sure we average males can find it... and even if we can, whether we can do anything about it.
There's some sort of invisible signal Lars is putting out -- his body language -- that tells girls they can and SHOULD be attracted to him. … I think there is an answer, but it might not be one we like. I've worked with actors for a long time, and sadly in that world you either have "it" or you don't. And there's almost nothing you can do if you don't.
This is sadness. Let’s not be so defeatist. Hope will get us average fellas through the day.
Harriet May (so far, the only female to respond) may know the answer:
This is so easy. It's the German-ness. It has to be because no one understands women, not even women, but I've known many a German male (I did go to an English boarding school after all--we were overrun with them) and with the few rare exceptions they all got a larger than average amount of female attention. They all dress the same: lots of Hugo Boss and Ralph Lauren and Lacoste, popped collars and chinos, and gelled hair. And they all have that ease that you mentioned and love of sports, especially field hockey. So maybe there's something in the water. The question is really: does the German male have the same effect on the German female? That I don't know, I've never seen one on his home turf.
Very interesting. That describes Lars pretty well. But somehow I doubt that if I started Hugo Bossin’ it up and playing field hockey with gelled hair that I would all of the sudden have females swarming, so this is not helpful.
Jonathan Vaudreuil suggests that maybe our problem is over-thinking:
You're being too technical though. Seriously, go have fun with ladies, like real fun, and see what happens. Thinking about it just gets in the way.
Fair enough. But before I give up on being too strategic about this, there’s one thing I’d like to try: A utility belt of freezepops. The thinking is that maybe if I just advertise the freezepops conspicuously enough, it will be like flies to flypaper.
I’ll let you know how it goes...
***
Finally, on a slightly more serious note, I responded to a comment from Bob this way:
I hope people get that this post was mostly intended to be amusing. I don’t actually believe freezepops are likely to be successful and I’m not actually that interested in trying to get a bunch of women attracted to me. Well, okay, t’would be nice, but I think it’d be a far greater privilege to have one woman love me for the bundle of faults that I am than to have a crowd of horny chicks swarm me every time I go to buy groceries.
I think the average person doesn’t appreciate the differences between love and attraction enough. It’s like they see love as a strong version of attraction. With my operating definition, attraction is one necessary ingredient of love, with the other two being intimacy and commitment. Far greater to have the latter two, I’d say.
That probably makes me sound like a noble dick, but I don’t think anyone in its throes would disagree.
Sometimes I like the things I write, even if it makes me sound like a noble dick.
