Just read your adorable post on the giggles and I couldn't help but wonder what you get form Khan. Is he a cheap replacement for human contact or does he give you something no human could?
Along with the broader question of “what’s the point?,” I think what he’s asking is whether pets are complements to or substitutes to human relations.
First, let me try to answer this as detached-edly as possible, as if I am coldly observing myself from a distance.
Two squibs from the masculine booklet come to mind. Here’s one:
People induced to feel lonely show greater belief in supernatural agents and show more attachment to their pets, presumably to regain a sense of connection.
This is talking about a study that found that when people are made to feel lonelier, they tended to ease their loneliness with a greater attachment to their pets, implying that pets are at least partially treated as substitutes to human relations.
And here’s the other:
We not only nurture what we love, we love what we nurture.
Whether it be an infant, a dog, an elderly woman, or a potted plant, when we nurture something – especially something that is vulnerable and dependent on us – that flips the switch of love in the brain. It is the reason people goo goo over their own babies more than others’.
So, from a purely rational, detached POV, you could say that I love Khan because (1) I’m lonely, and (2) by nurturing him, he has flipped the love switch in my brain.
(This makes me wonder about why Americans have much higher levels of affection toward dogs than, say, Europeans. I’m guessing it has to do with social norms around pet nurturing, but that’s another topic.)
Now, if I may re-enter my body, here is what I’d say:
If pets are substitutes for human relations, then so is your God. They may both be antidotes to loneliness – after all, the same study that showed that lonely people have greater attachment to pets also showed that they have greater belief in supernatural agents – but so what? Are we doing pets or gods any justice by reducing them to mere devices of comfort?
This reminds me of an opinion I’ve heard Sherry Turkle express a couple of times. She thinks that we should be wary of personal robots because they can easily manipulate us with their big eyes and their need for nurture to make us love them and become attached to them, and this is dangerous, she says, because the robots can never truly feel your existential pain, know what you’re going through, or relate to you in a meaningful way.
At the surface, that’s a fine, intuitive argument, but it breaks down in the eyes of a dog-lover when you realize that the same could be said of dogs. These are creatures that have been custom-bred over the centuries to appeal to our deepest sentimentalities—to manipulate our emotions, you could say. But calling my love for my dog “dangerous” or “misguided” offends me probably about as much as you were when I compared my dog to your God. (Not that you are calling my love for Khan dangerous or misguided, Harrison—just making a broader point.)
The experience of the love is real, and to reduce it to a “cheap substitute” or to “manipulation” seems to be missing the point. I don’t care whether you love a dog, an infant, a robot, a God, an inflatable doll, or a blade of grass, the experience of love has value and integrity in its own right, regardless of whatever theoretical reasons for why the love exists.
Let me pre-empt a likely response: "But Justin, how far can we really take this line of reasoning? Are you really telling me that loving an inflatable doll can have the same level of value and integrity as loving a spouse?" Admittedly, that seems unlikely, but then again, I’ve never loved an inflatable doll.
What I can tell you is that Khan, for reasons you may never understand, has nuzzled, licked, and high-fived his way into the deepest depths of my heart, and if this is “emotional manipulation,” then I want to know where I can get some more of that nasty stuff.
And to all you Europeans who think it’s gross to let dogs sleep in bed with you, eat this: Khan is the greatest butt warmer you’ll never have.
