where is She?

Here's tonight's Carolyn Hax attempt. I'm pretty sure this will be the one she finally responds to.

***

Oh Carolyn,

When will I ever find the Right Woman?

I’m pretty sure the latest one just wants my sex. They all do.

Why can’t she respect me for who I am as a man and as a fleshy soul?

I may not be perfect. I may sometimes tuck my sweatshirt into my pants. I may have the posture of a beached fish. But dammit that doesn’t make me a sex object. And it doesn’t make me unlovable.

I would crawl across mountains for the right girl. Or at least let her borrow my coupons to go see that documentary about the guy who climbs mountains.

I’d give her my heart, my fleshy soul, my coupons, and if she wasn’t a fatty, my sex.

So where is She?

-- Disgruntled Sex Object (with love and coupons to spare)