I’m getting pressure from people who love me to start dating again. Blind dating, speed dating, and online dating have all been unsubtly suggested. The general sentiment seems to be that romance is not going to find me if I’m sitting on my bum.
My response: Can’t you see I’m blogging here? If I do this for 5-10 more years the ladies are sure to start flocking to me.
My more serious response: You’re assuming that (1) romance is something I want/need, and (2) romance is something that can be intentionally dredged up (by me).
I’ll respond to both assumptions by stating my observation that love (the romantic kind) is a bodily function.
It’s something that happens regardless of whether you want it or expect it.1 It is a fact of life no more worthy of comment than breathing.2
It’s something that, when it does happen, is pretty messy and some might even say gross.
The Point: Suggesting that I go on dates when I don’t feel romantic interest is like suggesting that I go sit on the toilet when I don’t need to poop.
They mean well. They want me to be happy and what not,3,4 but I’m not unhappy and it’s unlikely that I would be any happier if I found the mess called love, or, more accurately, the mess called love found my body.
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1That’s not the same as saying that it will happen at the same frequency regardless of whether you want it or expect it. The more people of the attractive sex you get to know, the more frequently it will happen. So you can, to an extent, seek love just like you can seek other certain bodily functions by eating more fiber.
2But we comment on it a lot, and that’s because, as bodily functions go, this one tends to get us excited. It gets us excited because we need to get excited for it to happen—this is a bodily function involving two people so we can’t be calm about it if we’re going to take the actions necessary for it to happen.
3(or maybe they just want grandbabies)
4NB: Happiness as a goal really scrunches my undies.
The culture that is Washington, D.C.
5 hours ago
